Depressed

A new year...

Same old song and dance.

When will things get better?

I hate being so sad. One thing gets fixed, another gets worse.

Little Punk Skateboarder

Now, I've always been an open-minded kind of gal but I'm about done with teenagers, especially the skateboarding and bicycling types. About 2 weeks ago, I was driving to work and this little punk on a bike comes out from the sidewalk and cuts straight across the street, right in front of my car (I had a green light). So I honk and the SOB flips me off. Flipped ME off. For riding his bike in front of my car. Yes. So, I yelled, "Get out of the road!" and he yells, "FUCK YOU, CUNT!". So I keep going, wishing I had a projectile in the car for me to bounce off of the back of his head.

Today, driving home from work, I'm coming to the intersection of Newton Street and River Street and there's this little fucker in the right lane on a skateboard going down the hill. So he crosses into the oncoming traffic lane and goes out right into the middle of my lane (about 10 feet off of my bumper). I SLAMMED on the brakes and get on my horn and yell (again) "GET OUT OF THE ROAD". So he yells back "FUCK YOU" and flips me off with BOTH hands. Yes, that's right, I got flipped off because I didn't run him over. So I pass him and he's still skateboarding down the street STILL flipping me off. So... I slammed on the brakes and come to a complete stop in traffic and say, "You know it will be natural selection when your sorry ass gets run over, you dumb fuck!" and then I proceed home.

So here's my Karmic question. Why did I get flipped off and called ??? names for not taking these dregs of society out of the gene pool? I did the right thing (i.e., not killing them) and they say "FUCK YOU" to me and call me a cunt. For not killing them. So, what, should I have run them over and then they'd be happy? No, I'd have bad Karma for killing them when I could have prevented it. UGH. Next time, I'm going to just get out of the car and beat them with a tire iron. I think it'd make me feel better.

Cookies

In an effort to test out my "new" oven, I decided to bake cookies for the office. Unfortunately, my oven doesn't heat evenly and I ended up with one batch that was a little crispy and another batch that was a bit raw. The raw ones taste good, but I can't run the risk of poisoning half the office with salmonella. I did however manage to burn both of my forearms on the rack in the oven. At least I have something to show for an afternoon's worth of baking...

Fridge

So I went back to the old apartment today and decided to open the fridge (bad idea). I guess I should have cleaned it out before I unplugged it, but it didn't seem like there was really anything in there which might go bad. I was mistaken and discovered the inside was completely covered in black and green mold!

Considering the hell on earth that they put me through with that apartment, I considered leaving it for the landlord to find. Instead, thinking of the future tenants dying at my hand, I cleaned it out as best I could and went home.

Ghosts?

I went to bed last night rather early after taking a Lorazepam. I must have slept like the dead because when I woke up I discovered that my clock had fallen off the wall in the den, knocking over a bunch of stuff and spilling water all over my desk. I'm glad nothing broke, but now all of my paperwork that was on my desk is ruined.

Spider

Just found a dead spider in the bottom of the glass of water I just drank...

Close call, on so many levels.

First Post

Years ago, I had a blog on Myspace and I found it to be a great way to vent and blow off steam about various things that struck my fancy. I found my old journals and realized that there is a certain level of therapy which goes along with the stream of consciousness writing style. I guess you could call it the window into my brain, or perhaps my soul.

It's always struck me as odd that I have such bad luck in nearly everything I do. I don't understand why my Karma is so messed up. I feel that I'm a good person--I don't cheat on my taxes, I don't steal office supplies, I let old ladies cross the street (if they're in the crosswalk) and I don't eat meat because I think it's cruel. I donate to charity when I can and I am not usually selfish--I share everything I have with anyone who seems to need my help and I try to treat other people the way I'd like to be treated.

Yet, for some reason, it feels like I live my life under a black cloud. Everywhere I go, there is bad weather. No idea why. I figure it's time to turn the lemons that life has given me into lemonade, either by allowing me an avenue to vent, or perhaps by gaining notoriety on the web. I kid about the last part.

But back to the black cloud. I think I'm going to keep track of all of the bad things that happen to me so that I avoid bitching about these unfortunate events to people who don't want to hear it. Those of you who do want to hear about it will be able to check back and read all about the trials and tribulations known as my world. I hope nobody gets bored.